Tuesday, May 29, 2007

10 Reasons to Watch “The 4400”

“The 4400” is a summer show with a cult following about 4,400 people who mysteriously vanish over a period of sixty years only to inexplicably return in a ball of light without aging a day and with special abilities in order to save mankind from a mysterious catastrophe. It’s like “X-Men” meets “Heroes” with a twist of “Law & Order” (without the ever-changing A.D.As). It’s fourth season starts on June 17th on USA Sundays 9/8c.

Here are ten reasons to tune in this summer:

1. It’s not on NBC, so it doesn’t suck!
2. The writing and storylines are so refreshingly original that it’s worth waiting a year between seasons.
3. The actors are ridiculously talented.
4. An actor on the show is named Mahershalalhashabaz Ali. Say that three times fast, if you can say it at all! (He plays 1950s pilot, Richard Tyler).
5. Patrick Flueger! He’s only 23, but he’s a painfully gifted actor, who can make “healing” people look so real. You feel everything his character, Sean Ferrell, feels times two. Flueger is gorgeous, too. He reminds me of a young Brad Pitt. And he’s smart enough not to attempt accents!
6. It’s content on government conspiracies and discrimination against the 4400 parallels on the current state of the nation…but the government usually loses. ZING!
7. It’s a new shiny hybrid—Sci-fi, drama, romance, suspense, psychological thriller.
8. No David Hasselhoff insight!
9. The season is only 12 episodes, thus keeping the audience intensely entertained. There is no dwelling!
10. Conchita Campbell plays a creepy child precog, who pulls off that eerie “Children of the Corn” vibe. shudders
11. A bonus: Mahershalalhashabaz Ali is so handsome and muscley. I call him “Hershey.”

Don't forget June 17th on USA Sundays 9/8c. Watch it!

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack...

*glides elegantly into The Closet*

Pardon my brief absence. I know all…erm, six of you, missed me terribly. K had to attend to some very pressing matters at Cannes. It involves beaucoup des champagnes, beaucoup des robes couture et beaucoup des diamants! Leo, Brad and Angelina say “bonjour!”

Obviously, y’all know that I am full of crap. I took a bit of time away from my blog to seriously apply for jobs and to finish my novel. Queen Excel is hankerin’ to hang up her crown.

I apologize for leaving you without my scintillating opinions, but I’m back!
I’m also thinking of changing the name of my blog. My sister pointed out how is a metaphor for outing oneself. *smacks forehead*

Friday, May 11, 2007

Happy Mother’s Day to the Brangelina brood!

As the celebration of all things maternal approaches, it’s nice that one family in Hollywood manages to exude warm family fuzzies. It’s a shining beckon of hope for all the mothers with daughters facing jail time and post-rehab cocaine scandals. In an article in the June issue of Reader’s Digest, Mama Jolie shares coveted secrets of her life with an always-expanding brood. There are lots of adorable tidbits in the article, but this one got my ovaries hummin’:

On how she went from single mom of one to part of a family of six in just three years: "I met this amazing person, and we realized we had very similar views on how we wanted to live our lives. It's happened quickly, with so many children. Yesterday, picking up the kids from school, Brad turned around in the car, and there were three of them. He couldn't stop laughing."

There’s something sickeningly beautiful about these two gorgeous people, all lips and biceps and perfect hair, being tickled at there being three children in the backseat instead of two. Brad seems to have slathered on a hot mess of ‘laid back sexy’ since he became a father. He’s definitely a DILF!

People may joke about Angelina’s hobbies of adopting babies and trying to save the world, but it’s a far nobler undertaking than crashing million-dollar sports cars and spending a grad a tee shirts (not to say that they don’t do that). They are literally saving these children’s lives. And they’ve completely opened my eyes to adoption.

Happy Mommy’s Day to Angelina!

source: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20038456,00.html

EDIT: Looks like Sheryl Crow will have the perfect accessory for Mom's Day--a little boy! According to her blog, she just adopted a little baby named Wyatt Steven...Congrats to the new mommy...and to us! Hopefully, that means a break from her craptastic music and hair commericals! YES FADE AWAY! (I'm itching to make a clever 'crow' pun, but that would be so obtuse.)

source: http://www.sherylcrow.com/news.aspx?nid=7926

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Prison's hot!

In the second entry of this blog, I made a promise to my readers. I will quote myself:

“I hate Paris Hilton, and unless she goes to jail, this is the one and only mention of her in my domain, my closet.”

It has actually come to that. On Friday, Hilton was sentenced to 45 days for driving on a suspended license in Feb. 2007, which violated her parole for a DUI in Sept. 2006 (see an Open Letter to Hollywood about my stance on DUIs).

I thought she’d be sent to prison after a horrible accident involving enough cocaine to drop Courtney Love, a totaled million-dollar sports car, and a poor dead paparazzo. Hilton, who’s big on everything shameless and shameful, has a horrible driving record, no regard for the people around her, and as leaked photos have proven, she LOVES her cocaine (as does LiLo, but that's another entry). I’m glad the judge made a pre-emptive strike and actually made held her accountable for her actions. Granted, I don’t think she will serve her entire sentence, and I won’t be shocked if she doesn’t serve a day. And I know this will actually give her something to talk about once she gets out. Hilton’s going to pimp the fuck out of her prison stay…she’ll sob to everyone with a boom and a camera; she’ll be on the ‘View’ (Sadly, Rosie won’t be there to verbally assault her) and throwing parties in every city. I can even see “Prison’s Hot” tee-shirts. It’ll be awful, and Hilton won’t learn a damn thing, but she’ll be shackin’ up with Big Gertrude for 45 days with no extensions, Sidekicks, personal assistants, piles of cash and LV handbags!

Spider-Man's World ROCKS!

I have a bit of a confession to make. I, K, am a bit of a nerd. Yes, I know, it’s completely shocking. While I might be all cool prose and witty barbs on the surface, underneath is a dork that loves superhero movie franchises: Spiderman, X-Men, and Batman…in that order!

What? Forgot Superman? Nope, I didn’t. I loathe Superman. To be a true superhero, you have to be an underdog, a martyr and a well, human. Superman is just an alien that can’t even learn human customs…underwear OVER the costume, dude, you save children for Christ’s sakes.

But I digress. I entered the theater with expectations of mediocrity, because I’d read a couple reviews, and heard that there wasn’t much of a story left, so they stuffed the movie with villains, strange alien goo, and LOTS of action. Ten minutes into the movie, I realized, HELLO, it’s Spiderman, there’s supposed to be villains/action/goo. It’s a movie intended for kids and nerds like me.

I loved the movie. Tobey Maguire is and always will be the best Peter Parker. He’s adorable, a fabulous actor, and also kinda cute. He gives the perfect amount of humanity and humor to our friendly neighborhood Spiderman. This movie, while admittedly not as strong in story as the previous two, it is a stellar end to the franchise. (While I loved it, making another one would tarnish the other two). Without spoiling the plot, I will say that Peter Parker’s life finally seems to be in order. That pesky tragic luck of his is finally on the upswing. The city loves Spiderman and has embraced him as their official hero. Crime is down. And Parker wants to marry Mary Jane, played by the replaceable Kirsten Dunst. (Regardless of her predicting that the movie would “flop” without her, I’d see it twice if she was replaced. She’s not a bad actress, just an annoying one.) Of course, problems arise, a criminal’s molecules are scrambled and bonded with sand or gassed with green ‘roids, a meteor filled with space goo crashes to earth, and leeches onto the nearest host, and New York is caught in a sandstorm of mayhem.

Suddenly, Spider/Parker is a disco-dancing badass who’s going blow-for-blow with his best bud Harry aka Goblin Jr. in ‘roid rage mode (I’m glad that they finally cashed in on the fortune of James Franco and made him bulk up…ditto to Topher Grace), Sandman—an amazing feat of both CGI and imagination—and his own amped up aggression. There’s some closure to the entire story, and while some questions were left purposely unanswered in hopes to setting up a fourth edition to the franchise, it felt like an ending. If it is, Spiderman is the best superhero movie franchise in the history of the genre (apparently fans think so to. According to CNN, it made an estimated $148 million domestic, and $375 million worldwide. It's already paid for itself plus $117 million. This box office record.). It is the only film that puts the audience into a live-action comic book. There’s a certain imaginative simplicity to “Spiderman’s” characters, setting and villains. It is colorful and special, and the movies are a testament to what I believe Stan Lee created. In Spidey’s world, the rules are simple:

1. Villains dance and dance well! Dr. Doc was probably groovin’ in his secret lair. And it’s rumored that Hob Goblin loved to do the cabbage patch to get himself psyched to attack Spidey.
2. Despite his superpowers and muscles in the first film, Parker is a true nerd and will never be anything less.
3. It’s not that hard to get bitten by a genetically altered spider or fall into a molecule-changing machine or huff toxic super-strength gas, BE CAREFUL!

All in all, I enjoyed the movie. It was a bit too over-the-top and under-developed characaters/storylines, but it was more than decent end to a heroic epic.

Friday, May 4, 2007


Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18024492/

Lindsay Lohan admits that part of her loves being a paparazzi target — but she wishes the photographers would stop bothering her for a while so that she can win an Oscar.

“I wouldn’t ever want them to not take my picture,” the “Mean Girls” star told Nylon magazine. “I’d be worried. I’d be like ‘Do people not care about me?’ ”

In fact, she takes it as a sign she’s almost Madonna-like: “I said the other day, ‘I feel like they hound me more than they hound Madonna and she’s someone I’ve always aspired to be like.”

The media attention, is, however, a distraction from an Academy Award.

“The thing about the press and why they need to leave me the [bleep] alone for a little bit is because I don’t want that distraction from my work,” she told the mag. “I want to get a nomination. I want to win an Oscar. I want to be known for more than, like, going out. For being ‘the party girl.’ I hate that. I bust my [bleep] when I’m filming, and when I gave time off, yeah, I like to go out and dance.”

I absolutely LOVE these little pearls of wisdom from LiLo. She’s so young, but she’s already been through so much and she understands how the world works. She worries about being more famous than Madonna. She understands that by having crazy paparazzi engaging her in highspeed car chases, and stalking ever every day it is a direct representation of how much WE, the little people, care.

She’s also quite complex. She likes that she likes having her picture taken but she still wants to be left alone, and doesn’t want to be sidetracked on her quest for Oscar! From my end, I saw that her very underage partying, public feud with poptart Hilary Duff, panty-less friendship with Britney, and the escapades of her crazy family have drawn the press to her…and not her work.

After “Mean Girls,” and subsequent films, LiLo was known at a good actress. Then after bouts of drama and overblown rebellion (with no parents insight), she became this magnet for scandal and drama, things us 9-to-5 clock-punchers gobble up.

As far as the ass-busting goes, Lohan may want to ask Jane Fonda how hard she think she worked on their new film, “Georgia Rule.” It’s been reported that she doesn’t want LiLo at the premiere for their movie after all the on-set kerfuffles (remember during filming, LiLo was late showing up and reported un-prepared, it got so bad the an executive publicly scolded her in an open letter.) Maybe the benevolent Ms. Fonda is helping her in her quest to avoid the press and get that Oscar. FONDA RULE!

An Open Letter To Hollywood...(And Everyone Else)

Dear Hollywood,

I am having a very difficult time processing the recent rash of glitterati-related DUIs. I’m not going to stand on my soapbox and waxing righteously about serious diseases like alcoholism and addiction, because besides of a family history of alcoholism, I have no personal experience (due to that family history, I barely drink and when I do, I’m very careful). I will say, however, that it is the stupidest thing and most preventable of crimes and/or death to drink and then get behind the wheel of a one- ton machine, and in Hollywood supersized four-ton Range Rovers.

I’m not comfortable driving 15 miles two hours and two glasses of water after drinking a happy hour cocktail, so I’m not one to understand getting blitzed and getting behind the wheel. And when you add a couple million dollars, a couple mill in albums sold, it makes absolutely no damn sense for any of the Hollywood crowd to get behind the wheel after a night of celebrity-level partying when you can afford to BUY a cab company, let alone pay the ride. It is easy to make a mistake or lose your head, but a mistake like that can cost your and other people your life.

So while celeb-related DUIs are ever-so trendy right now, next time you find yourself stumbling from a party and ask yourself if you should drive home. And the answer should come from the classy and elegant Whitney Houston, “hell-to-the-naw!”


Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Un-"Lucky" Me...Early Movie Review....

Whenever anyone goes to a movie, it’s a gamble. These days, you’re spending upwards of a sizeable chunk of change to be trapped in a dark theater with strangers and people on a 16-foot screen, trying to keep you in your seat. Sometimes you don’t want to leave, sometimes you don’t want to stay.

I categorize movies based on the trailers: can’t miss in the theater, see it…eventually, and wait for DVD. “Lucky You” starring PEOPLE’S Most Beautiful (aka 'almost everyone in Hollywood list!) Drew Barrymore and Eric Bana was definitely a “wait for DVD.” The trailer made it look like a predictable romantic comedy, and while I love Drew Barrymore, her movie choices are iffy.

I, however, managed to get passes from to a free advanced screening of the movie today. (Note to reader: I LOVE going to the movies…it actually makes me want to write.) Lucky Me, right? Not so much.

I don’t know what the hell that movie was supposed to be. There was no humor, barely any drama, and the only thing the audience could invest in was the amounts of money the players were betting and losing. It read as an extensive Texas Hold ‘Em Tutorial with Professor Robert Duvall.

Barrymore played her usual uber-bubbly, nauseatingly good girl to clash against Bana’s compulsive gambling and near expressionless face. Their supposed relationship was lacking everything: chemistry, flirtation, reason. Their push-pull made no sense, and was buried in the litany of poker terminology, the tedious details, and the unforgiving relationship between Bana’s character and his father, a cold player who left his mother for the game. I spent the entire two hours waiting for something to happen. I was thrilled to see muscle-bound loan sharks coming to kick some lines of pain into Bana’s face. Sadly, the most exciting character in this movie was Chico Banh, the Spanish-speaking Vietnamese gambler.

Lucky You: Not worth the gamble.

(Although I'd rather watch this than pay $125 to watch B-Fed mime her way through eight year old songs for 15 minutes...the drama's not even as great as Heather Mills on "Dancing with the Stars"...will the leg fly off...will the wig fall off, will it stay on? Sadly, it stayed on for all parties involved.)