Friday, April 20, 2007

Spear Me: Britney Spears Latest Drama


BRITNEY Spears has no one to blame but herself if she loses custody of her two sons and ruins her career, according to her father, Jamie Spears. In a statement to Page Six yesterday, Jamie sticks up for Britney's manager Larry Rudolph - who was fired by Britney last Friday, as we first reported.

Britney was furious with Rudolph for forcing her into the Promises rehab clinic in February after she went out almost every night for a month, posed for photos in her underwear with New York dancers and shaved her head.

Jamie Spears told us in an e-mail: "When Larry Rudolph talked Britney into going into rehab, he was doing what her mother, father and team of professionals with over 100 years of experience knew needed to be done. She was out of control. Larry was the one chosen by the team to roll up his sleeves and deliver the message, to help save her life.

"The Spears family would like to publicly apologize to Larry for our daughter's statements about him over the past few weeks. Unfortunately, she blames him and her family for where she is at today with her kids and career. Larry has always been there for Britney. For this, we will forever be grateful to him."

Britney told us via her rep, "I am praying for my father. We have never had a good relationship. It's sad that all the men that have been in my life do not know how to accept a real woman's love. I am concentrating on my work and my life right now."

A pal of Britney said the pop tart "had no drugs in her system when she was admitted to Promises - they [tested her] and there was nothing. She was embarrassed she had to go in there when she knew she was suffering from postpartum depression, not a drug or alcohol problem."

As for the bizarre head-shaving incident, the pal continued, "Britney's aunt had just died of cancer. She was feeling very guilty because she hadn't been there with her, she was overwhelmingly depressed and she shaved her head in solidarity."

A friend of Rudolph, who's hired high-powered p.r. man Allan Mayer, said, "Britney obviously has a lot of issues . . . Larry's trying to lay low and letting her act out, but . . . he doesn't want to see her wind up like Anna Nicole Smith. He won't get into a public fight with her - yet. This is about saving her from herself." Mayer had no comment.

Britney freakin’ Spears. When I was 16, she was the coolest thing in the world. I was young, barely into music and didn’t know girls my age could sing and dance and get record deals all on their very own. By the time I was 17, she had nothing on Christina Aguilera and never would. At 19, she broke Justin Timberlake’s heart and began to lose her damn mind. Finally, at 25, the woman just needs Jesus.

I’m not one of those evil critics that want to pounce on and broadcast every mistake a celebrity makes, especially the paparazzi-magnet that is B-Fed, but the things she does are things most of us learned were yucky at the age of five: never go barefoot in gas station bathrooms; never let boys see up your skirt; never share underwear with goo-goo dancers. Spears’ life is more entertaining than her poor attempts at singing ever could be. It has all the elements of a soap opera; there’s heartbreak, affairs, public puking and nudity, bad hygiene, head shaving and Vegas marriage and a driving with a baby on her lap! The writers of “Passions” need to hire her STAT!

America seemed to watch, captivated, as she went to rehab, then left, then went to another one and left, and then was forced to go back. I grew up in the *vomits* Age of Britney and sometimes it feels like she’s the badgirl in your graduating class that dated your crush and didn’t go to college. You want to see how bad she’ll end up, because you’re wired to follow the rules and she thrived on breaking them.

Daddy Spears has highlighted some very troubling issues: 1) Her manager was chosen to push her into rehab. Not her mother, father, siblings or friends. Her MANAGER. (Mama Spears and Mama Lohan need to start a support group! They teach each other the art of mooching off of their kids!) 2) She’s pissed off that she was made to go to rehab when she didn’t think she needed to go, and wants to concentrate on her work….um, what about the babies? Remember them? You ran to PEOPLE magazine every other month to tell them you were soooooooooooo happy when you first had them? 3) YOU CAN’T HANDLE A REAL WOMAN’S LOVE, Y’ALL!

She needs to be sent back to rehab for that comment alone.

Ultimately, Britney’s got issues and she seems HAPPY with her issues and that is scary and not at all funny. Love her or hate her, no one wants her to end up like Anna Nicole Smith.

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