Bared and Pregnant

In the era of so many (scripted) reality shows, cell phone camcorders and paparazzi videos, privacy is virtually a thing of the past. So I was proud of Christina Aguilera when she refused to admit that she’s pregnant. It doesn’t involve her music, so she never had to comment about it. Granted, it was a bit pointless when she was toting around a huge, round belly. (I can’t imagine the pressure she was facing trying to finish a world tour in her first trimester.) The other part of me—that’s been a fan of the Diva for years—knew that she was waiting to do a huge magazine cover spread-eagle on a leopard print rug, showing off her big ole belly, because Mrs. Bratman loves an exclusive as much as Jenny from the Block.

So I definitely wasn’t surprised when I saw the January cover of Marie Claire magazine with Aggie on the cover in all her expectant glory. I just wasn’t all that thrilled with it. I will always respect Christina’s need to challenge the male-dominated business and be as comfortable with her sexuality and nudity, which can be two seperate things. And I don’t see anything wrong with posing nude while pregnant (or nude in general), but I’m not 100% behind the picture of her with child. And I’m not sure why. I know that part of me was dreading the inevitable Britney comparisons. But it’s not 1999 anymore, and it’s quite obvious that Britney is…in a league all her own right now, keeping company with Danny Bonaduce and Amy Winehouse.

I don’t believe that pregnant women need to shuffle about in moo-moos and housecoats, nesting and knitting. However, in a time where breakdowns and sextapes can launch a career, I have to wonder what drives her to share her (pregnant) body in all its airbrushed glory with the world when there is no movie, album, clothingline or fragrance to promote. (One could argue that Xtina is promoting her tour DVD and fragrance) I guess I just can’t wrap my mind around how that would feel. Maybe it's a good thing to want to share the birth of your child with the entire world. Congrats, Christina.

I haven’t read the article yet, and I look forward to doing so and seeing the rest of the pictures. I actually do love the cover, and I love the Divine Mrs. B, so I’m glad to get another shot of my favorite celebrity before she vanishes into the black hole of 3 A.M feedings and dirty diapers.

Source: http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s83/lilacrose82/marieclaire.jpg

Here is a link to the picture in question.

Update: I read it, and it was a wonderful insight on a very happy woman who is about to become a mother. All is good.

Award Show Conspiracy

Since I’m no longer Queen Excel, I’ve been feeling quite naked without my crown of…spreadsheet cells and needless data. I’ve decided that I am the new Queen of Bitter, Queen B if you will. Like my new crown of broken dreams and crushed hope? As newly reigned Queen, I’ve decided that I hate awards shows. After the debacle that was the VMAs (and the subsequent controversy afterwards) and now the Tony Bennett-and-Sopranos Lovefest-slash-Randomest Winners Ever Awards Show aka The Emmys.

I’ve decided that awards shows are televised purely to make the viewing public feel like absolute shit about their own lives. I mean what exactly IS a show designed to honor already beautiful and rich people who get to do what they love everyday and live fabulous lives exactly supposed to do? Make us feel all warm and fuzzy? Inspire us to follow our dreams? No! They want you to feel depressed that you are Queen Excel or that you got your first rejection letter from a literary agency on the same day you blew the opportunity for a fantastic writing job. They want you to feel low and useless so you’ll all the more willing to retreat into a world of imagination and creativity, passion and drama, i.e, television? See how that works? It’s a strategy conjured up by advertisers and network executives!

The Emmys itself was boring, save for a few moments: I enjoyed Katherine HIGH-GUL’s win and her speech. She looked fabulous. America Ferrera always makes me cry when she wins awards. And I was thrilled for her! Mom-to-be Christina Aguilera’s performance was the only treat of the show. She looked adorable and sounded like an angel…as usual.

On the dark side, T.R. Knight was robbed. I feel like he’s the Djimon Honsou of the Emmys. He’s a fantastic comedic actor with dramatic chops you never saw coming. I’d assumed he’d be yet another victim of the “Sopranos” Mob, but he was bested by some random guy from “Lost” with a sparkly tie and pink shirt. OUCH! Vanessa Williams was also robbed by trailer trash! Jaime Pressley is funny and all, but she’s already southern, so technically, it’s not that much of a stretch now is it?

Finally, can the Emmys or any other important awards show refrain for being on FOX? They censored SALLY FIELD (totally rooting for Kyra Sedgwick, but whatcha gonna do?). I mean, seriously, what type of network censors people’s acceptance speeches? (According to EW.com, Field said “And let’s face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no goddamn wars in the first place…” That’s it!) A cowardly one. I thought FOX was supposed to be edgy and racy. First, they want to make “Dick in the Box” family-friendly (read UNFUNNY) and now any anti-war sentiments aren’t allowed. Fuck edgy and racy, try oppressive and old. Fuck FOX. That’s right FCC, I said FUCK!

In summation, award shows are just a conspiracy to make us feel like shit. And I fall for it every year.

M-I-C...

This is kind of random things I think about while working on spreadsheets at work. It was a very frustrating day, so I decided to let my mind wander, instead of throttling my co-worker.

The casting directors of Disney Channel’s The New Mickey Mouse Club must basking in the glow of their overall awesomeness in castin’ abilities. The show ran roughly from 1989-1995 and boasted the pint-sized talents of Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Keri Russell (“Felicity”, “Mission Impossible II”, “The Upside of Anger”), Ryan Gosling (see: Fracture Movie Review Below), Christina Aguilera, and Britney Spears. Here are some little tidbits in case you don’t know who they are:

• Ryan Gosling was nominated for Best Actor Academy Award for the creepy, but surprisingly sedate, “Half Nelson.”
  
• Christina Aguilera has four Grammy awards and one Latin Grammy. She’s been dubbed “The Best Voice of Our Generation.”
  
• Justin Timberlake he brought sexy back, has four Grammys of his own, and um…he’s probably one of the best performers of our time.
  
• Britney Spears proved that you can sell a crapload of well, crap, with very little discernable talent and education. But I’ll give her props. She’s worked very hard to get where she is.
  
• JC Chasez is in my humble opinion one of the most underrated singer/singwriters that I can think of. He’s eccentric, sexual, has an amazing voice, and he’s gorgeous.
  
• Keri Russell is a fantastic actress. “Felicity” showed me how beautiful new York is.

I used to watch “MMC” when I was a quiet little girl living in Indiana. I was bored at school, wanting to be an actress, but not knowing how to start or how to even voice such desires at 10 years old. I would run home from school and watch the show, wishing I could be one of those kids. History tells me my life would be all the more awesome if I would have been on the show.

• I’d be rich: 99% of my problems and/or regrets stem from lack of money. If I had money, I would have gone to a better college, met awesome people, and not been stuck in Bumblefuck, Midwest. Oh, and I could start my awesome shoe collection!
  
• I’d be HOT: HAVE YOU SEEN RYAN, CHRISTINA AND KERI AND JUSTIN? SMOKIN’. Christina especially. I love her style. She’s tiny, curvy, my height, but has long legs. *guzzles haterade*
  
• I’d be a better writer: experiencing more would ultimately improve my writing. I’d do more crazy stuff and be able to write it as well as I want to!
  
• I’d be able to sing: Music was so freakin’ confusing me to as a child, but I love it now and love to be able to sing.
  
• I’d be friends with some hot, hot guys: Ryan, JC and Justin…Oh my. I’d make one of them my husband! I’d be Ms. Hot Guy!